Jokes.
Mood:  mischievious
Topic: The Tao of Ben
I'm going to tell a couple of Ben jokes. Warning: They are dirty jokes. One of them is even political, a little. So if you don't like the F word, if you're going to get offended and hate me, please stop reading. Because we have established that I am an enormous pantywaist and will cry if you hate me.

Ahem. *taps mike* Is this thing on?

Guy walks into a whorehouse and tells the madam, "I've only got ten dollars. What you got for ten dollars?"

The madam says, "Well, ten dollars. That's not a lot, is it? I tell you what: For ten dollars you can fuck a chicken."

The guy isn't best pleased but figures what the hell. So he goes in and fucks the chicken. He leaves.

The next week he goes back to the whorehouse and tells the madam, "Well, I'm back. And this week I've only got five dollars."

The madam looks him up and down. "Oh, you're back, you big chicken-fucker? Five dollars? Well, okay. But for five dollars, you can only watch. Go on in there."

He goes into a little room and sees through the viewing hole a man having sex with a terribly ugly, deformed woman. Even so, the guy next to him is pleasuring himself. Really going to town.

The first guy says "God, you can really get off to THIS?"

And the other guys says "Oh, you know, this is nothing. You should have seen what we got last week for twenty dollars! Some asshole was in there fucking a chicken!"

Ahem. The next one is shorter, mercifully.

Bill Clinton is walking down the street when he is approached by a whore. The whore says "Do you want to have a good time?" and Bill says "Well, I've only got five dollars."

"Oh, come on," says the whore. "You're the President! You can afford more than that!" But Bill refuses.

The next day Bill is walking down the same street with Hillary when he encounters the same whore. She comes up to them and says to Bill, "See what you get for five dollars?"