Boob Man.
Mood:  incredulous
Topic: Matt
The other night, Ben and Matt and I were roughhousing and cuddling on our big bed when Matt said to each of us in turn I love you. Charmed, we told him we loved him too; then Matt turned to me and said I love your boobies! We were a bit taken aback, but I laughed and thanked him. Hey, at least the kid is honest.

Matt's fixation on my mammaries is well-known. Although I weaned him from the breast back in February or so, shortly after his second birthday, and he's made it clear that he doesn't want to go back to nursing -- and I honestly don't want him to, anyway -- he remains completely fascinated by my chest. When tired or in need of comfort, and especially when falling asleep at night, his first instinct is to reach for my boobs. I spend what seems like my entire life removing his hands from me; he's like the worst date I ever had. Won't take no for an answer.

I wonder why this is? He wasn't weaned too early, or weaned too late. Sam has none of this fixation. And while I certainly don't think there's anything sexual about Matt's obsession with my boobies, it makes me think.

Sam has a typical four-year-old boy's attitude toward girls -- he plays with them at school and day care, and his best friend at both places is a girl, but he doesn't particularly like girls. He has the classic Kissing, yuck! little-boy attitude. Matt, on the other hand, is crazy about girls and has been since he was old enough to focus visually -- since babyhood. He adores little girls, follows them around, introduces himself to them in public. He loves females on television and in movies. At Target, picking out toothbrushes, Sam chose Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles; Matt chose Barbie. Not because he plays with Barbies -- because he loves girls!

It's going to be interesting watching Matt come of age, to see if he turns out to be a ladies' man, a boob man. He and Sam, raised together in the same household and by the same parents, are so different in their attitudes toward these things. Are such tastes really present at birth? I'm curious to find out. Meanwhile, I hope Matt eventually learns to take no for an answer when it comes to reaching into girls' blouses, because if he doesn't, I foresee a lot of problems for him down the road -- not to mention the poor girls who will date him.

Grammar Bitch footnote: I was listening to talk radio in the car this morning, some stupid promo for some stupid TV series, when I heard the following clunker: The biggest cliffhanger in television is finally revealed! Hello: THAT MAKES NO SENSE. The outcome of the biggest cliffhanger is revealed, okay; or the biggest cliffhanger is finally resolved. Come to think of it, those sound like hell too. Best to give it up. And do you know what this means? Not only is whoever wrote the copy a fucking idiot, but whoever edits or approves the copy is also a fucking idiot, and even the guy who did the voiceover is a fucking idiot, because you'd think he would have read it over and said WTF? Surely this comes as no surprise, but it's just one giant clusterfuck. Hurts to hear it.