Footnote: My Tits.
Mood:  incredulous
Topic: Pregnancy
Those who have known me forever would be surprised if they knew that this A-cup queen, despite still wearing a size 4 and having no stretch marks, now wears a 36D. It's sort of fun having tits for a change, although I wish the fucking things still defied gravity as deftly as they did when I was nineteen.

My husband, who married me when I was in my late 30s, during my I damn well work out every day, have no crease at the base of my butt, and have no tits either phase, is amused and bemused. I married a girl with tits, he says. Who knew? They probably don't do him much good, what with all the pregnancy and nursing for the past four and a half years. Sorry, Ben. I hope that, as in the case of Mount Rushmore or the Taj Mahal, there is still some pleasure to be found in the viewing alone.