The Pregnancy Test.
Mood:  celebratory
Topic: Pregnancy
Is. Negative!

Mommy: *still has no period and wonders WTF*

Daddy: *is relieved that he won't be the father of an 18-year-old at age 67*

Mommy: *may be menopausal, in which case buh-bye, AF!*

Sam & Matt: *have no idea*

Erika: *is grossed out that pregnancy is even an option, because that means we have been having sex, ewwww*

You: *should probably be grossed out too*

Mommy: *brought kimchee and miso soup for lunch, so is definitely turning Japanese and, apparently, Korean*

This story: *is over*

Turning Japanese (I Really Think So).
Mood:  on fire
Topic: Pregnancy
So, you want to know what I had for dinner tonight? Monkfish liver sauteed in chili oil, wasabe oil, soy sauce and rice vinegar.

In recent weeks, we've been shopping a lot at Mitsuwa Asian market. Stocking up on all our favorites: sashimi, Pocky for the kids, brown rice green tea, sake of course, spicy kimchee. And this monkfish liver, with which Ben absolutely refused to have anything to do. The way he sees it, not even Asian people eat that stuff; they put it out there as a trap for the unwary: "Ha ha! Silly white girl! No one eat that shit!"

It was freaking good.

More and more, I don't want to eat anything but Asian food. I just love, love, love the stuff. Of course, maybe I am just pregnant and having insane food cravings (I am, after all, late). But that remains to be seen. Tomorrow. (Note to self and husband: Embrace the condom. The condom is your friend.)

I knew things were getting bad when my friend Lisa pointed out that she had never heard of any of the favorite foods I had identified. Criminey, I sound just like someone from California, don't I? Twenty years ago, I would have wanted to beat myself up. Kimchee. Please.

Japanese or pregnant. And definitely from California. Oh boy.